Vanderpump Rules Jax Cracks – S 3 Ep 17

Open at SUR

Tom, Jax, and Ariana – Talking about Scheana’s wedding.  Mostly how Tom was so glad to be in the wedding party and not having to sit at the Sur table with Kristen.

BTW the food at Sur looks so delicious.

Katie tells that chick (who is on every episode and I still don’t know her name, she is Stassi and Katie’s friend), about Tom’s Ring on a String.

Lisa talks to James about Kristen. Honestly, I feel so bad for the dude. Kristen is a psycho, with all due respect. Poor guy has had to endure so much bullshit. She is the classic psycho ex-girlfriend. Daaaaaayyyum.
WTF did Kristen expect, she was walking off with another man. She is a pig, p i g. I thought she was pretty when I first saw her but she is so ugly now. Poor James. Poor, poor James. There is a better girl out there for you! Forget her.

Stassi and Peter

Stassi mentions that she likes to get together with him because she can always count on him for gossip.  I like Peter a lot.  He’s a cool dude.  Peter tells her about Kristen and James fight at the wedding.  He also says that Kristen is on the road to destruction.  Rock bottom, people.

James and Kristen

First of all she walks in with the shittiest look I have ever seen.  This bitch is way off.  She orders a shot of tequila AND a mimosa, wow.  Sure fuel the fire when you’re getting ready to talk to your hopefully soon-to-be-ex.

She is still all about deny any responsibility, just like Lisa said.  Now James is saying it.  She is living in an alternate universe.  She needs to grow the fuck up already.  Wait James is actually being… oh no, he is gonna forgive her even though I don’t think she ever apologized.

Looks like they are making up and staying together! NOOO!!!! damn.

Lunch with Jax, Ariana, Tom x2, Katie…. I want to be at this table.

They talk about ring-on-a-string… blue cheese, yes.

Jax starts talking Kristen.  They are weird friends, Jax even says so.  The only reason Kristen hangs with Jax is to get info on Tom, please.

Jax tells him about a recent GNO – Kristen apparently screamed at a stripper and the stripper decked her friend?  What?  So was this a male strip club or female?  They all come to the conclusion that Kristen needs to #MoveOn.   They even suggest a Christian retreat.  Yes.

They all go to work…

Scheana is back to work, talking about her wonderful honeymoon to Hawaii.  James comes over and wants to talk her.  He wants to apologize for the wedding thing.  She is telling him he is crazy for putting up with Kristen.  Sounds like he agrees.

Dinner Service at Sur

Lisa shows up and recruits Jax for a Lucky Puppy event at Pump.  They also, rehash the Kristen and James fight.  Jax is complaining about Kristen hounding him.  Again, it is all for Sandoval not that she likes you, Jax!  Lisa tells Jax to control his gossipy mouth.

Well here it is, Stassi and Kristen, together again.  Wow, never thought I would see this.  Weird.  Wrong.  Although, I too, would be curious like Stassi as to what the heck Kristen wants.  This poor girl is crazy.  The real reason she wanted to meet with Stassi?  She wants to know how to manipulate Jax to tell the truth about ‘Miami girl’.

Let’s get this straight – she is asking her former bestie, how to manipulate her former bestie’s ex-boyfriend, who Kristen slept with to get back at the boyfriend Kristen cheated on with the guy she now wants to manipulate.  Marinate in that awhile.

Stassi tells her to let it go.  YES Let it go!

Now Tom is telling Jax to stay out of it, do not talk to Kristen about me, ever.  Jax gets all defensive, he shouldn’t.  Just say ‘ok, bro’. Now he starts telling Jax to STFU about Scwartz too.  He’s telling him straight up right now.  I dig it, he is right.  Jax needs to be a good friend and say, ‘I am sorry and ok’ and then REALLY KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT.

POS of the year goes to Jax, didn’t he win last year?

Next we see Jax trying to be funny about his finger is magnetically opposed to marriage.  Shut up.  He is so irritating.

Stassi with the chick whose name I do not know are going through Stassi’s clothes.  They start talking about Stassi having breakfast with Kristen.  Stassi says, in her confessional that Kristen is trying to win the Pulitzer prize for cheating journalism. LOL!  That is some funny shit.  Don Draper lol

Frickin’ A… next scene we hear Kristen talking about outing Tom AGAIN.  So they all go out to dinner with her to discuss further (the chick I don’t know, is there are they gonna add her to the credits already, I should know her name but I really don’t care enough to go look it up).  In Jax’s confessional he calls Kristen a pitbull.  She grabs on and doesn’t let go.

Scheana’s confessional lists all the things that proves Kristen is crazy.  She is dead-on.

Let’s remember, Tom just told him to keep a lid on things, to STFU.  So Jax being the shitty friend he is and he tells everything to everyone at the table – Jax shows his true colors.

JaxTaylor

Kristen = NOBODY CARES.  Only you.  Mind your own business honey, you will be better for it.

Let it Go Kristen PumpRules

Next week… The finale looks like it will not disappoint.  I hope Tom tells Jax and Kristen to go to hell and mind their own business. Stassi seems to be upset about seeing Jax?!?! Please tell me she does not still have feelings for him!! 

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